Rodney woke to the sounds of yet another argument
between Mom and Ed. " Why can't you just leave him alone",
he heard his Mom say. " Did you see his report card!" , Ed blared.
" That boy has his head in the clouds, he needs to buckle down!"
"Ed stop!" his Mom said. " Yeah, just stop you asshole!"
Did I just say that out loud? Rodney had drifted between reality
and what he wanted to do and was unsure what had transpired.
He started downstairs and looked around the corner, " hey what's up?"
The jolt of being caught in a fight made them both look sheepish.
" Rodney I was going to ground you but, I think you can just spend
the day mowing. Front and back and the barn yard." Ed spewed at him
like it was a life sentence. "Okay", Rodney knew that Travis was going
to help in the afternoon. Ed drop jawed , Turned to his Mom and said,
" And don't you let him out of it either, his report card was terrible!"
Ed slammed the door as he left for work.
" Rodney,are you alright?" his mother asked.
"Yeah, I'm okay, why do you let him do that,Mom?"
Rodney was seething underneath, but wouldn't let it show.
" Are you sure?" " Yeah"
"Well I'm going to work, Be safe mowing and I'll see you tonight."
His Mom left with a worried expression.
Rodney went out to mow the back half while it was still cool
and in the shade. Then, he started on the front , when a fiendish thought
crossed his mind. He started down the drive then mowed a big F,
then he mowed a big U, then he mowed ED!
Then as he was just getting ready to mow across the whole mess, when,
clunk, clunk, thump, Crap, Crap, He pulled, He Pulled!
Oh my God, he was a dead man if anyone saw this!
He ran to the road, Oh yeah, you could read it in the rise of
the yard plain as day! If one of Ed's friends drove by he was dead!
If one of the neighbors drove by it would get back to Ed, he was dead!
He ran for the phone and called Travis's place, "Hello Mrs. Reynolds
is Travis there?" "Why no, Travis is gone on his bike, said he'd be back
in an hour." "Please tell him to call me as soon as he gets back it's an
emergency!" " Do you need help Rodney?," Mrs. Reynolds asked.
" Oh no it's a... a...Boys Club emergency!" Rodney toned down the panic a little.
Rodney returned to the front yard and pulled the rope again , but nothing.
I'll hide it he thought, he put the wheelbarrow in front of the top of the F
and the mower in front of the U and a few of the bushel baskets around the rest of it.
Crap, it looks like a deranged farmer yard sale. Well, at least they can't
read it from the road. But there is no mistaking what it says in the yard.
"Clipper I'm a dead man!" he said to the dog. The dog just wagged his tail
like he always did. " You don't understand", Rodney sunk to his knees, "I try and
try to be a man but things get so screwed up".
The dog just licked the tears from his cheeks as he started to cry.
"Stop, Clipper you dumb dog, this is serious stuff."
By then the day had wained into the afternoon and Ed would be home.
Rodney tried the phone again, " Mrs Reynolds is Trav back yet?"
"I believe he's outside I'll look, No, he's gone again I told him you called."
" Okay, a..a.. no message this time." Alright, goodbye." Mrs Reynolds hung up
and Rodney started working on his death sentence requests. I'll have a Lil Joes
Pizza with sausage and extra cheese, no onions, a Coke and please bury me next
to my dog Clipper.
" What ya doin, ya woosie" Travis had come to the door and poked his head inside.
" I got a whole case of bottles today, on the road." Travis said puff chested.
"Ya got your mower!" Rodney blurted out. " No I was just going to help ya finish",
" I wrote FU Ed in the front yard and my mower wont start!", Rodney said in a panic
" You what? Foremann's going to cut your balls off!" " It's not funny, help me!",
Rodney demanded.
"Let's see what's up with the mower.", Travis started out to the yard.
He pulled, and then opened the tank, and told Rodney to get the gas.
then he took out his farmer pliers from his leather pouch and unscrewed the
spark plug. Rodney returned with the gas and poured some in.
Travis took the sparkplug and held it against the block of the mower and said
"pull the rope". Rodney did so, and Travis saw he had a weak spark.
" got any sand paper?" " yeah I think so " " well go get it or do you want to die?"
Rodney returned and Travis sanded the contacts on the sparkplug and
put it back in and pulled the rope. WRRRRRRRRR...............
"Your a genius", Rodney shouted over the drone of the mower.
"Get mowing" Travis yelled. Rodney quicly mowed a big diagonal through
the yard. Then passed off the mower to Travis, and started picking up the
baskets in the wheel barrow, to put back in the shed.
The diagonal pattern continued 'til it was done.
"Thanks Travis you saved me", Rodney said. " You're a dufuss sometimes,
Rodney" Travis replied.
Rodney's mom pulled up, "Hey the yard looks nice, I like the diagonal thing"
Rodney and Travis just busted out laughing, " I gotta go " Travis said.
"Try not to break the mower again". " Ya Sure"
" What was that about?" Rodney's mom asked. "Oh, Trav' fixed the mower,
it conked out." Rodney smirked. "I didn't get the barn yard done, hope you're
not mad." No, but Ed might be, go get started on it and I'll fill him in on the mower
breaking down, when he gets home". " Thanks Mom", Rodney headed for the barnyard.
"Come in for supper in an 1/2 hr okay, I got a Lil' Joes Pizza, your favorite".
Rodney sat in his room after pizza, and fed Clipper the leftover crusts he sneeked
upstairs, " You wouldn't tell on me ever, would you?", He quizzed the tilted head dog.
He fell asleep that night dreaming of a yard service where people wanted him to
spell thing in their yards.
And do that special diagonal thing and trim their bushes in weird shapes.
Life was good again.....................
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