Mothers Day- Letters from home

At a low point in my life, like so many of us I needed money.
with a check or a 20 my Mom replied with this: 12/03/97
Hi Honey,
This isn't much- but maybe it will help a bit.
I wish I could do more.
What I really wish is that I could do or say whatever
it would take to make everything in your life OK.
Isn't that every mother's wish for her children?(Fathers too)
I don't know that there are any easy answers.
After talking with you last weekend, I did some reflecting
upon my own life and it's trials and tribulations.
  It really was a struggle at  times, and mostly because of money.
It has gotten easier the past 5 or 6 years since Bud got out of
school and were getting debts paid off.
If there is anything I worry about now, it's that we aren't
putting back anything for retirement; and what if one or both of us
loses our jobs at our age. 
Not a happy thought. In other words, were like everyone else
just a paycheck away from poverty. And of course our health
is another concern, but ill health can happen at any age.
 Whatever serenity I have comes from being in the country,
loving and being loved. And as much as possible- not worrying
about tomorrow, but doing my best to take care of today.
Oh yeah , and trying to accept myself as I am. Admitting that I
am not perfect, and I can't do everthing.
  Two sayings that I kept in my mind over the years that
helped me are: from my Mom ( Grandma Ruth)
" Your happiness comes from within you."
And from Albert Rockwell- "Youre not a man until you
accept the responsibilty for yourself. Until I really thought
about that one, I thought I did accept responsibilty for myself.
Then I realized I still blamed other people and "circumstances"
for my problems or for my lack of joy- whatever.
It wasn't until I realized what the saying means that I could start
changing my life.
   The one thing I do know is that you never get everthing figured
out. Sometimes I wonder if
the moment you die- my life will make since to me.
I doubt it. I think it takes many life times. Or maybe this one is all there is.
Who knows? Try not to be so hard on yourself. You are a good person.
  So if I was 50 before life got a little easier- you've got 15 years to go.
Hope it happens sooner for you. I know it will be better when you get 
moved to the your farm.
         Keep on keeping on---
                                          I love you,Mom
Note:
 I near 50 now It is your love, letters and encouragement,
You're my keel and rudder, I could never have sailed with out you.
                I love you so much, Doug